Letting Go
by S. Kagamine-chan
Summary: Pokespe. Time has passed and certain someone has reached a decision, when you can't move forward, there's only moving the other way. If that one moment wasn't true, then everything after wasn't more than a lie. "You could have told me, you know?" [Warning: Possibly OOC]


**AN: Hi, everybody, welcome to my first fanfiction, of Pokémon Special nonetheless! This is a RubySapphire fic (Franticshipping I've seen some calling it). It's not so good, but I've given it my best! Now, English isn't my first language, so sorry if there are typos or grammatical errors. Do tell me if you find any, please! I want to improve for you pals, and for myself too. Also, I think I have to give a warning, even though I tried my best to follow the characters personalities, I'm focusing in a breaking point, where neither are exactly normal for they are emotionally strained, so they might be OOC. Therefore, before starting…**

**WARNING: CHARACTERS MAY SEEM OOC, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!**

"Hey, Ruby." - She asked a little lower than she intended.

"Hm? What now, Sapphire?" - He answered without stopping his brushing of Nana's fur.

"Do you… do you remember?" - She had asked this one question many times before, his answer never changing, still, she had to ask once more.

"Remember what?" - He didn't want to, but his voice sharpened.

"What we talked about while returning from Mirage Island." - She had hope in him telling her what she wanted to hear, what she knew was the truth.

"Again? Sapph, I've told, I can't remember anything about that or the battle. Nothing comes to me." - He sounded crossed.

"I know you've told me so! But, really, don't you remember? Not a single thing?" - She wanted him to say he did, she was _sure_ he did. She was desperate to hear him come clean.

"No, I don't! Arceus! Why do you insist?" - He was raising his voice in par with her, even letting go of the hairbrush and turning to her. She didn't answer, just looked at him with sadness in her eyes. - "Drop it, alright? Every time you ask I tell you that I can't remember, and every time I say so you get frustrated and end up with that face, so drop it." - He turned back, resuming his work, ignoring her and Nana, both looking disappointed in him.

"I know you're lying, you know?" - She sounded calm, too calm for someone so emotional as her.

"I am not. Why do you think so anyway? And didn't we just agree to let it go?"

"You did, not I." - For once it was her who had the upper hand in a word battle. - "And I know you're lying 'cause you haven't asked what happened."

"Excuse me?" - He was once again looking at her, something akin to horror hidden deep in his eyes.

"You haven't asked what is it that I want you to remember, not even once. Maybe you don't care what it was that we talked because you don't remember, but even if that were the case, you'd have asked me about it, you'd have tried to remember. It's normal, you know? To be interested in what it is that I try so hard for you to remember, and if not, in getting me out of your back once and for all. But you haven't asked, not once in the four years that have past. And that means that you _do_ know what it is, and it explains why you don't want to talk about it." - That was the most coherent linear speech he's ever heard of her without it having anything to do with a pokemon battle.

"I… You're getting ahead of yourself. I simply don't want to talk about something that makes you lose yourself." - He was lying, both of them knew.

"I thought I knew you, I thought you cared about me."

"Of course I do! We're friends!" - He looked insulted.

"No we're not." - Her face and her voice were final, making a chill run down his spine. - "If we were and you really didn't remember, then you'd care enough to find out what it is that I want you to remember, for you know I feel sad, you've said so yourself just now. And if we were and you did remember, as I know you do, then you wouldn't avoid it, you'd talk about it, even if just to tell me it was a lie, because you'd care enough to be honest with me. But you don't care, not about me being sad, not about honesty. You don't care about me, and we're not friends, it's all a lie. And I found the truth at last, didn't I? In the end, whatever your reason not to talk about it doesn't matter, just the fact that you don't love me like I do, like I told you and you told me. It was all a lie and you couldn't even tell me." - She was crying and he was speechless. - "You could have told me, you know? I wouldn't have resented you. If you'd told me it was a lie I would have understood, I can be reasonable. We were going to fight the legends, we were emotional, we didn't know if we were coming out alive, it was alright to lie, to tell each other that we were not kids fighting for the world, to find the adults in ourselves and have emotions that adult have. I would have understood, I loved you enough to get that, and now I love you enough to let you go."

"Let me go?" - He didn't like the sound of it. She, her reasoning, wasn't right, and it scared him. Those words she said, they scared him because he didn't want her to let go. As long as she kept asking, whether he admitted to it or not, he felt safe, because it meant she still wanted to be with him. But now…

"You don't love me, you don't have to be here any more. I know you are interested in going to Sinnoh to participate in the contest there, you can go, you don't have to stay with me. I can go on without you, I think I'll go to Johto to fight the Gym leaders there, but you don't have to come, for you already have the ribbons from there." - She had to be strong, she had to let him free from herself, he was staying because of the guilt of saying something he didn't mean.

"Are… Are you telling me we won't see each other again?" - That couldn't be true, they were Ruby and Sapphire, they couldn't possibly fall apart, he couldn't let her go, she shouldn't either.

"No, you can still come here to the secret base if you want to after you return from Sinnoh, and we're neighbors anyway so it's not that we won't see again, but you don't have to be with me, you don't have to be my friend when you really don't want to." - He was that boy who was free and confident enough to fight a Salamance for a little girl he barely knew, she couldn't trap him in and stop him from going and doing what he really wanted, not for something as silly as her unwanted feelings and a lie. - "I don't want a fake friendship and you don't want a real one, so it's better if there is none."

"None?" - He didn't want a real friendship with her? What was she thinking? How could she think that he didn't really want to be her friend? He didn't _just_ want to be her friend, but he had learned that he was too selfish, too preoccupied with himself to deserve her, so he lied when she came to him about their feelings for each other. He couldn't have her until he overcame his own selfishness and became someone she could be proud of, but time and time again he failed, noticing each of his flaws everywhere. And she asked and asked and he couldn't help the darkness in him getting out every time for he wanted nothing more than to tell her he remember the happiest moment in his life: her telling him she loved him. And he was angry with himself, for never being good enough, incapable of delivering half the happiness he received, and he lied and she got that sad face, and he got even madder at himself for, how couldn't he learn from the past and stop making her sad? And now she thought he didn't like her at all, and that was nonsense, the worst kind for he was in love with her, madly, irrevocably in love with her, couldn't she see? Ah, but he wore a mask, that which he kept trying to destroy for four years without success, the one which allowed his selfishness to grow and he couldn't take down but in the direst of situations and with a lot of her help. He was still not good enough for her, despite everything he had tried he still made her cry. He didn't deserve her. The right thing to do would be letting her go, he knew that, but didn't want to. He was too selfish for that. - "I do love you." - He shouldn't, she had found a reasoning which let her free to find someone better, but he wouldn't let her fly away, not when she still loved him.

"Don't lie, it hurts me, and I'm sure it hurts you too. I said it's alright not to love me. You couldn't, so you lied about remembering, you shouldn't try any more. Love isn't giving up yourself for someone, but offering what you can give and improving to give more without losing yourself." - When had his dear barbaric girl become so deep? He knew she had an understanding of life different to his own, but never was she this philosophical. She hated giving something too much thought if it wasn't necessary, but she thought it was important to ponder unrequited love?

"I'm not lying. I love you, just don't seem to be good at it." - He tried to find a way to express himself, but really, how could he? How could he tell her that she was too good for him and still not be able to set her free? - "I don't want to let go. I knew what you wanted to talk about, but I wasn't ready. You… You told me I was selfish, that I didn't think of anyone but myself. I don't want to be that kind of guy anymore, not if I'm going to be with you. I need to be better, but never do I improve, I'm still so arrogant, always thinking of myself first, that's not the guy you deserve. But I'm selfish enough not to let you go, I don't want you to go without me anywhere, and even though you can protect yourself, I want to be someone who is there for you. I love you and can't leave you, so I lied, would still have lied until I could go to you and show you I wasn't that selfish boy who run away of everything anymore, nor that barbaric kid who made you cry with his savageness while attacking a Salamance. I want to be better for you."

"Silly." - She still cried, but a little smile appeared through her tear stained face. - "I love you, however you come. Didn't I tell you so? I know your bad sides too well, I've always been aware of them, but you're a coward no more. You came back, you ran from the battle but still came back, and you fought, with all your might you fought. You recognized the beauty of the inside of Mimi, and showed me your heart. That's not a selfish driven act. And besides… There's not such thing as being unworthy of someone else." - She still looked a crying mess, and he felt guilty of reducing someone so fierce as her to this with his stupid actions, but at least that tiny smile was still there. - "Silly prissy boy, you've made me cry for something so stupid for four whole years!" - But no matter how hard she tried to sound mad, she was elated by discovering that he did love her despite everything she had thought.

"Yes, I'm stupid, please forgive me?" - He felt relieved by her tone, he could hear the laugh in her voice. - "I'm still going to try to improve, but I won't keep you at bay anymore." - He wasn't giving up, he would become better for her, but he could stop hurting her in the process. And just for that, for putting her first this time and not pushing her away, he had already, unknowingly, taken the first step: to improving and to happiness.

**AN: Well, that's it, the end of my first fanfiction. Was it good or bad? Terrible? Please review and inform me of what you think! I do hope you enjoyed it, though. Until the next time!**


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